我的失戀 My Lost Love

My beloved dwells on the mountainside;

wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
suǒ — 1. actually 2. place 3. classifier for houses, small buildings, institutions etc 4. that which 5. particle introducing a relative clause or passive 6. classifier: 個 (gè) (HSK 3)
ài — 1. to love; to be fond of; to like 2. affection 3. to be inclined (to do sth); to tend to (happen) (HSK 1)
zài — 1. to exist; to be alive 2. (of sb or sth) to be (located) at 3. (used before a verb to indicate an action in progress) (HSK 1)
山腰
shān yāo — the mid-slope of a mountain

我的所爱在山腰;

I would go and find her, but the mountain's too high,

xiǎng — 1. to think (about) 2. to think of; to devise 3. to think (that); to believe (that) 4. to desire; to want (to) 5. to miss (feel wistful about the absence of) (HSK 1)
qù — 1. to go 2. to go to (a place) 3. (of a time etc) last 4. just passed 5. to send 6. to remove 7. to get rid of 8. to reduce 9. to be apart from in space or time 10. to die (euphemism) 11. to play (a part) 12. (when used either before or after a verb) to go in order to do sth 13. (after a verb of motion indicates movement away from the speaker) 14. (used after certain verbs to indicate detachment or separation) (HSK 1)
xún — 1. to search 2. to look for 3. to seek (HSK 7-9)
tā — she (HSK 1)
Shān — surname Shan (HSK 1)
tài — 1. highest 2. greatest 3. too (much) 4. very 5. extremely (HSK 1)
Gāo — surname Gao (HSK 1)

想去寻她山太高,

I bow my head, helpless, tears soaking my robe.

低頭
dī tóu — 1. to bow the head 2. to yield 3. to give in (HSK 6)
無法
wú fǎ — unable to; incapable of (HSK 4)
lèi — (bound form) tears; teardrops (HSK 4)
zhān — 1. to moisten 2. to be infected by 3. to receive benefit or advantage through a contact 4. to touch (HSK 7-9)
páo — gown (lined)

低头无法泪沾袍。

My love gave me a handkerchief embroidered with a hundred butterflies;

愛人
ài ren — 1. spouse (PRC) 2. lover (non-PRC) 3. classifier: 個 (gè) (HSK 2)
zèng — 1. to give as a present 2. to repel 3. to bestow an honorary title after death (old) (HSK 5)
wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
Bǎi — surname Bai (HSK 1)
dié — (bound form) butterfly
jīn — 1. towel 2. general purpose cloth 3. women's headcovering (old) 4. Kangxi radical 50

爱人赠我百蝶巾;

What did I give her in return: an owl.

Huí — Hui ethnic group (Chinese Muslims) (HSK 1)
tā — she (HSK 1)
shén — what
me — variant of 麼 (me)
貓頭鷹
māo tóu yīng — owl

回她什么:猫头鹰。

From then on she turned her face from me and paid me no heed,

從此
cóng cǐ — 1. from now on 2. since then 3. henceforth (HSK 4)
翻臉
fān liǎn — to fall out with sb; to become hostile
不理
bù lǐ — 1. to refuse to acknowledge 2. to pay no attention to 3. to take no notice of 4. to ignore (HSK 7-9)
wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)

从此翻脸不理我,

I know not why—it made my heart leap with fright.

不知何故
bù zhī hé gù — somehow
xī — (particle in old Chinese similar to 啊)
使
shǐ — 1. to make 2. to cause 3. to enable 4. to use 5. to employ 6. to send 7. to instruct sb to do sth 8. envoy 9. messenger (HSK 3)
wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
心驚
xīn jīng — 1. fearful 2. apprehensive

不知何故兮使我心惊。

My beloved dwells in the busy marketplace;

wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
suǒ — 1. actually 2. place 3. classifier for houses, small buildings, institutions etc 4. that which 5. particle introducing a relative clause or passive 6. classifier: 個 (gè) (HSK 3)
ài — 1. to love; to be fond of; to like 2. affection 3. to be inclined (to do sth); to tend to (happen) (HSK 1)
zài — 1. to exist; to be alive 2. (of sb or sth) to be (located) at 3. (used before a verb to indicate an action in progress) (HSK 1)
鬧市
nào shì — 1. downtown area 2. city center

我的所爱在闹市;

I would go and find her, but the crowds are too thick,

xiǎng — 1. to think (about) 2. to think of; to devise 3. to think (that); to believe (that) 4. to desire; to want (to) 5. to miss (feel wistful about the absence of) (HSK 1)
qù — 1. to go 2. to go to (a place) 3. (of a time etc) last 4. just passed 5. to send 6. to remove 7. to get rid of 8. to reduce 9. to be apart from in space or time 10. to die (euphemism) 11. to play (a part) 12. (when used either before or after a verb) to go in order to do sth 13. (after a verb of motion indicates movement away from the speaker) 14. (used after certain verbs to indicate detachment or separation) (HSK 1)
xún — 1. to search 2. to look for 3. to seek (HSK 7-9)
tā — she (HSK 1)
rén — 1. person; people 2. classifier: 個 (gè), 位 (wèi), 名 (míng) (HSK 1)
擁擠
yōng jǐ — 1. crowded 2. to throng 3. congestion (HSK 7-9)

想去寻她人拥挤,

I tilt my head back, helpless, tears soaking my ears.

仰頭
yǎng tóu — to raise one's head
無法
wú fǎ — unable to; incapable of (HSK 4)
lèi — (bound form) tears; teardrops (HSK 4)
zhān — 1. to moisten 2. to be infected by 3. to receive benefit or advantage through a contact 4. to touch (HSK 7-9)
ěr — 1. ear 2. handle (archaeology) 3. and that is all (Classical Chinese)

仰头无法泪沾耳。

My love gave me a painting of a pair of swallows;

愛人
ài ren — 1. spouse (PRC) 2. lover (non-PRC) 3. classifier: 個 (gè) (HSK 2)
zèng — 1. to give as a present 2. to repel 3. to bestow an honorary title after death (old) (HSK 5)
wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
Shuāng — surname Shuang (HSK 3)
Yān — 1. Yan, a vassal state of Zhou in present-day Hebei and Liaoning 2. north Hebei 3. the four Yan kingdoms of the Sixteen Kingdoms, namely: Former Yan 前燕 (Qián Yān) (337–370), Later Yan 後燕 (Hòu Yān) (384–409), Southern Yan 南燕 (Nán Yān) (398–410), Northern Yan 北燕 (Běi Yān) (409–436) 4. surname Yan
tú — 1. diagram 2. picture 3. drawing 4. chart 5. map 6. classifier: 張 (zhāng) 7. to plan 8. to scheme 9. to attempt 10. to pursue 11. to seek (HSK 3)

爱人赠我双燕图;

What did I give her in return: candied haws on a stick.

Huí — Hui ethnic group (Chinese Muslims) (HSK 1)
tā — she (HSK 1)
shén — what
me — variant of 麼 (me)
冰糖
bīng táng — 1. crystal sugar 2. rock candy
hú — 1. pot 2. classifier for bottled liquid (HSK 6)
Lú — 1. surname Lu 2. abbr. for Luxembourg 盧森堡 (Lú sēn bǎo)

回她什么:冰糖壶卢。

From then on she turned her face from me and paid me no heed,

從此
cóng cǐ — 1. from now on 2. since then 3. henceforth (HSK 4)
翻臉
fān liǎn — to fall out with sb; to become hostile
不理
bù lǐ — 1. to refuse to acknowledge 2. to pay no attention to 3. to take no notice of 4. to ignore (HSK 7-9)
wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)

从此翻脸不理我,

I know not why—it left me all befuddled.

不知何故
bù zhī hé gù — somehow
xī — (particle in old Chinese similar to 啊)
使
shǐ — 1. to make 2. to cause 3. to enable 4. to use 5. to employ 6. to send 7. to instruct sb to do sth 8. envoy 9. messenger (HSK 3)
wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
胡塗
hú tu — variant of 糊塗 (hú tu)

不知何故兮使我胡涂。

My beloved dwells by the riverbank;

wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
suǒ — 1. actually 2. place 3. classifier for houses, small buildings, institutions etc 4. that which 5. particle introducing a relative clause or passive 6. classifier: 個 (gè) (HSK 3)
ài — 1. to love; to be fond of; to like 2. affection 3. to be inclined (to do sth); to tend to (happen) (HSK 1)
zài — 1. to exist; to be alive 2. (of sb or sth) to be (located) at 3. (used before a verb to indicate an action in progress) (HSK 1)
河濱
hé bīn — 1. brook 2. rivulet

我的所爱在河滨;

I would go and find her, but the river runs too deep,

xiǎng — 1. to think (about) 2. to think of; to devise 3. to think (that); to believe (that) 4. to desire; to want (to) 5. to miss (feel wistful about the absence of) (HSK 1)
qù — 1. to go 2. to go to (a place) 3. (of a time etc) last 4. just passed 5. to send 6. to remove 7. to get rid of 8. to reduce 9. to be apart from in space or time 10. to die (euphemism) 11. to play (a part) 12. (when used either before or after a verb) to go in order to do sth 13. (after a verb of motion indicates movement away from the speaker) 14. (used after certain verbs to indicate detachment or separation) (HSK 1)
xún — 1. to search 2. to look for 3. to seek (HSK 7-9)
tā — she (HSK 1)
河水
hé shuǐ — river water
shēn — (lit. and fig.) deep (HSK 3)

想去寻她河水深,

I turn my head aside, helpless, tears soaking my collar.

wāi — 1. askew 2. at a crooked angle 3. devious 4. noxious 5. (coll.) to lie on one's side (HSK 7-9)
tóu — 1. head 2. hair style 3. the top 4. end 5. beginning or end 6. a stub 7. remnant 8. chief 9. boss 10. side 11. aspect 12. first 13. leading 14. classifier for pigs or livestock 15. classifier: 個 (gè) (HSK 2)
無法
wú fǎ — unable to; incapable of (HSK 4)
lèi — (bound form) tears; teardrops (HSK 4)
zhān — 1. to moisten 2. to be infected by 3. to receive benefit or advantage through a contact 4. to touch (HSK 7-9)
jīn — 1. lapel 2. overlap of Chinese gown 3. fig. bosom (the seat of emotions) 4. to cherish (ambition, desires, honorable intentions etc) in one's bosom

歪头无法泪沾襟。

My love gave me a gold watch-chain,

愛人
ài ren — 1. spouse (PRC) 2. lover (non-PRC) 3. classifier: 個 (gè) (HSK 2)
zèng — 1. to give as a present 2. to repel 3. to bestow an honorary title after death (old) (HSK 5)
wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
Jīn — 1. surname Jin 2. surname Kim (Korean) 3. Jurchen Jin dynasty (1115–1234) (HSK 3)
biǎo — 1. watch (timepiece) 2. meter; gauge (HSK 2)
Suǒ — 1. surname Suo 2. abbr. for 索馬里 (Suǒ mǎ lǐ), Somalia

爱人赠我金表索,

What did I give her in return: sweat-inducing medicine.

Huí — Hui ethnic group (Chinese Muslims) (HSK 1)
tā — she (HSK 1)
shén — what
me — variant of 麼 (me)
發汗
fā hàn — to sweat
yào — 1. medicine 2. drug 3. substance used for a specific purpose (e.g. poisoning, explosion, fermenting) 4. classifier: 種 (zhǒng), 服 (fù), 味 (wèi) 5. to poison (HSK 2)

回她什么:发汗药。

From then on she turned her face from me and paid me no heed,

從此
cóng cǐ — 1. from now on 2. since then 3. henceforth (HSK 4)
翻臉
fān liǎn — to fall out with sb; to become hostile
不理
bù lǐ — 1. to refuse to acknowledge 2. to pay no attention to 3. to take no notice of 4. to ignore (HSK 7-9)
wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)

从此翻脸不理我,

I know not why—it gave me neurasthenia.

不知何故
bù zhī hé gù — somehow
xī — (particle in old Chinese similar to 啊)
使
shǐ — 1. to make 2. to cause 3. to enable 4. to use 5. to employ 6. to send 7. to instruct sb to do sth 8. envoy 9. messenger (HSK 3)
wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
神經衰弱
shén jīng shuāi ruò — nervous exhaustion; neurasthenia; mental breakdown (often used to describe what is now understood to be clinical depression)

不知何故兮使我神经衰弱。

My beloved dwells in a grand household;

wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
suǒ — 1. actually 2. place 3. classifier for houses, small buildings, institutions etc 4. that which 5. particle introducing a relative clause or passive 6. classifier: 個 (gè) (HSK 3)
ài — 1. to love; to be fond of; to like 2. affection 3. to be inclined (to do sth); to tend to (happen) (HSK 1)
zài — 1. to exist; to be alive 2. (of sb or sth) to be (located) at 3. (used before a verb to indicate an action in progress) (HSK 1)
háo — 1. grand 2. heroic
jiā — 1. home 2. family 3. (polite) my (sister, uncle etc) 4. classifier for families or businesses 5. refers to the philosophical schools of pre-Han China 6. noun suffix for a specialist in some activity, such as a musician or revolutionary, corresponding to English -ist, -er, -ary or -ian 7. classifier: 個 (gè) (HSK 1)

我的所爱在豪家;

I would go and find her, but I have no motorcar,

xiǎng — 1. to think (about) 2. to think of; to devise 3. to think (that); to believe (that) 4. to desire; to want (to) 5. to miss (feel wistful about the absence of) (HSK 1)
qù — 1. to go 2. to go to (a place) 3. (of a time etc) last 4. just passed 5. to send 6. to remove 7. to get rid of 8. to reduce 9. to be apart from in space or time 10. to die (euphemism) 11. to play (a part) 12. (when used either before or after a verb) to go in order to do sth 13. (after a verb of motion indicates movement away from the speaker) 14. (used after certain verbs to indicate detachment or separation) (HSK 1)
xún — 1. to search 2. to look for 3. to seek (HSK 7-9)
tā — she (HSK 1)
xī — (particle in old Chinese similar to 啊)
沒有
méi yǒu — 1. haven't 2. hasn't 3. doesn't exist 4. to not have 5. to not be (HSK 1)
汽車
qì chē — 1. car 2. automobile 3. bus 4. classifier: 輛 (liàng) (HSK 1)

想去寻她兮没有汽车,

I shake my head, helpless, tears falling thick as hemp.

搖頭
yáo tóu — to shake one's head (HSK 5)
無法
wú fǎ — unable to; incapable of (HSK 4)
lèi — (bound form) tears; teardrops (HSK 4)
rú — 1. as 2. as if 3. such as (HSK 6)
Má — surname Ma (HSK 7-9)

摇头无法泪如麻。

My love gave me a rose;

愛人
ài ren — 1. spouse (PRC) 2. lover (non-PRC) 3. classifier: 個 (gè) (HSK 2)
zèng — 1. to give as a present 2. to repel 3. to bestow an honorary title after death (old) (HSK 5)
wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
玫瑰花
méi guī huā — rose

爱人赠我玫瑰花;

What did I give her in return: a red-banded snake.

Huí — Hui ethnic group (Chinese Muslims) (HSK 1)
tā — she (HSK 1)
shén — what
me — variant of 麼 (me)
chì — 1. red 2. scarlet 3. bare 4. naked
liàn — 1. to practice 2. to train 3. to drill 4. to perfect (one's skill) 5. exercise 6. (literary) white silk 7. to boil and scour raw silk (HSK 2)
shé — 1. snake 2. serpent 3. classifier: 條 (tiáo) (HSK 5)

回她什么:赤练蛇。

From then on she turned her face from me and paid me no heed,

從此
cóng cǐ — 1. from now on 2. since then 3. henceforth (HSK 4)
翻臉
fān liǎn — to fall out with sb; to become hostile
不理
bù lǐ — 1. to refuse to acknowledge 2. to pay no attention to 3. to take no notice of 4. to ignore (HSK 7-9)
wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)

从此翻脸不理我,

——I know not why—so let her go, then.

不知何故
bù zhī hé gù — somehow
xī — (particle in old Chinese similar to 啊)
yóu — 1. to follow 2. from 3. because of; due to 4. by; via; through 5. (before a noun and a verb) it is for ... to ... (HSK 3)
tā — she (HSK 1)
qù — 1. to go 2. to go to (a place) 3. (of a time etc) last 4. just passed 5. to send 6. to remove 7. to get rid of 8. to reduce 9. to be apart from in space or time 10. to die (euphemism) 11. to play (a part) 12. (when used either before or after a verb) to go in order to do sth 13. (after a verb of motion indicates movement away from the speaker) 14. (used after certain verbs to indicate detachment or separation) (HSK 1)
bà — 1. to stop 2. to cease 3. to dismiss 4. to suspend 5. to quit 6. to finish

不知何故兮——由她去罢。

。)(October 3, 1924.)

yī — 1. one 2. single 3. a (article) 4. as soon as 5. entire; whole; all; throughout 6. "one" radical in Chinese characters (Kangxi radical 1) 7. also pr. (yāo) for greater clarity when spelling out numbers digit by digit (HSK 1)
jiǔ — 1. nine 2. 9 (HSK 1)
èr — 1. two 2. 2 3. (Beijing dialect) stupid (HSK 1)
sì — 1. four 2. 4 (HSK 1)
Nián — surname Nian (HSK 1)
十月
Shí yuè — 1. October 2. tenth month (of the lunar year)
Sān — surname San (HSK 1)
rì — 1. (bound form) sun 2. day 3. day of the month 4. (bound form) Japan (abbr. for 日本 (Rì běn)) 5. (vulgar) to fuck; to have sex with (HSK 1)

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What it’s about

The one comic poem in the book, and a parody with a precise target: four stanzas that borrow the shape of 張衡's 四愁詩 and fill it with junk. My love is halfway up the mountain; I would go and look for her but the mountain is too high, and lowering my head I cannot stop my tears wetting my gown. Then she is in the busy market, where the crowd is too thick; then by the river, which is too deep; then in a rich man's house, which he cannot reach for want of a motor car — and each time he tilts his head a different way and cries onto a different piece of clothing.

The gifts are where it turns. She gives him a hundred-butterfly kerchief and he sends back an owl; a picture of paired swallows, and he sends back a stick of candied haws; a gold watch-chain, and he sends back a dose of sweating medicine; roses, and he sends back a red banded snake. Every stanza ends with her cutting him dead and with him wondering what on earth the reason could be, which leaves him startled, then muddled, then neurasthenic, and finally shrugging: 由她去罷, let her go. Lu Xun's own preface says he wrote it because the lovelorn poetry then in fashion disgusted him, and the joke is exactly that — the form of heartbreak kept perfectly intact while the feeling inside it is replaced by an owl.

When it was written 背景

Dated 3 October 1924 and subtitled a piece of new doggerel in the old manner. Its publication is a small event in modern Chinese literary history: the 晨報副刊 had it in proof and the editor pulled it, 孫伏園 quarrelled over that and resigned, and the weekly 語絲 which grew out of the quarrel printed the poem in December 1924 — so the magazine that went on to carry all of 野草 exists partly because of this joke. For a learner it is the shortest text in the collection and the one that most rewards reading aloud: rhymed lines of five to seven syllables, a frame you have learned after one stanza, and the 兮 of classical lament dropped in to keep the mock-antique register audible.

Words in this chapter 生词