希望 Hope

。My heart is exceedingly lonely.

：，，。Yet my heart is very much at peace: without love or hate, without sorrow or joy, and without color or sound.

。I am probably growing old.，？That my hair has already turned gray — is this not plain enough?，？That my hands are trembling — is this not plain enough?，，。Then surely the hands of my soul must be trembling too, and its hair must also have turned gray.

我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
大概: dà gài — 1. roughly 2. probably 3. rough 4. approximate 5. about 6. general idea (HSK 3)
老: lǎo — 1. prefix used before the surname of a person or a numeral indicating the order of birth of the children in a family or to indicate affection or familiarity 2. old (of people) 3. venerable (person) 4. experienced 5. of long standing 6. always 7. all the time 8. of the past 9. very 10. outdated 11. (of meat etc) tough (HSK 1)
了: le — 1. (completed action marker) 2. (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now) 3. (modal particle intensifying preceding clause) (HSK 1)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
頭髮: tóu fa — hair (on the head) (HSK 2)
已經: yǐ jīng — already (HSK 2)
蒼白: cāng bái — 1. pale 2. wan
不是: bù shì — 1. no 2. is not 3. not
很: hěn — 1. very; quite 2. (also, often used before an adjective without intensifying its meaning, i.e. as a meaningless syntactic element) (HSK 1)
明白: míng bai — 1. clear; obvious; unequivocal 2. sensible; reasonable 3. to understand; to realize (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
事: shì — 1. matter 2. thing 3. item 4. work 5. affair 6. classifier: 件 (jiàn), 樁 (zhuāng), 回 (huí) (HSK 1)
麽: me — variant of 麼 (me)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
手: shǒu — 1. hand 2. (formal) to hold 3. person engaged in certain types of work 4. person skilled in certain types of work 5. personal(ly) 6. convenient 7. classifier for skill 8. classifier: 雙 (shuāng), 隻 (zhī) (HSK 1)
顫抖: chàn dǒu — 1. to shudder 2. to shiver 3. to shake 4. to tremble (HSK 7-9)
着: zhāo — variant of 著 (zhāo) (HSK 1)
不是: bù shì — 1. no 2. is not 3. not
很: hěn — 1. very; quite 2. (also, often used before an adjective without intensifying its meaning, i.e. as a meaningless syntactic element) (HSK 1)
明白: míng bai — 1. clear; obvious; unequivocal 2. sensible; reasonable 3. to understand; to realize (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
事: shì — 1. matter 2. thing 3. item 4. work 5. affair 6. classifier: 件 (jiàn), 樁 (zhuāng), 回 (huí) (HSK 1)
麽: me — variant of 麼 (me)
那麽: nà me — variant of 那麼 (nà me) (HSK 2)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
魂靈: hún líng — 1. soul 2. mind 3. idea
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
手: shǒu — 1. hand 2. (formal) to hold 3. person engaged in certain types of work 4. person skilled in certain types of work 5. personal(ly) 6. convenient 7. classifier for skill 8. classifier: 雙 (shuāng), 隻 (zhī) (HSK 1)
一定: yī dìng — 1. surely; certainly; definitely 2. fixed; settled 3. a certain ...; a given ... (HSK 2)
也: Yě — surname Ye (HSK 1)
顫抖: chàn dǒu — 1. to shudder 2. to shiver 3. to shake 4. to tremble (HSK 7-9)
着: zhāo — variant of 著 (zhāo) (HSK 1)
頭髮: tóu fa — hair (on the head) (HSK 2)
也: Yě — surname Ye (HSK 1)
一定: yī dìng — 1. surely; certainly; definitely 2. fixed; settled 3. a certain ...; a given ... (HSK 2)
蒼白: cāng bái — 1. pale 2. wan
了: le — 1. (completed action marker) 2. (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now) 3. (modal particle intensifying preceding clause) (HSK 1)

。Yet this has been so for many years.

，：，，。Before this, my heart too was once filled with songs of blood: blood and iron, flame and poison, restoration and revenge.，。But suddenly all of these became empty, though at times I deliberately filled the void with a helpless, self-deceiving hope.，，，，。Hope, hope — using this shield of hope to resist the onslaught of the dark night within the emptiness, though behind the shield too there is still the dark night within the emptiness.，。And yet, just like this, my youth was gradually worn away.

這: zhè — 1. (pronoun) this; these 2. (bound form) this; the (followed by a noun) 3. (bound form) this; these (followed by a classifier) (in this sense, commonly pr. (zhèi), esp. in Beijing) (HSK 1)
以前: yǐ qián — 1. before 2. formerly 3. previous 4. ago (HSK 2)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
心: xīn — 1. heart 2. mind 3. intention 4. center 5. core 6. classifier: 顆 (kē), 個 (gè) (HSK 3)
也: Yě — surname Ye (HSK 1)
曾: Zēng — surname Zeng (HSK 4)
充滿: chōng mǎn — 1. full of 2. brimming with 3. very full 4. permeated (HSK 3)
過: Guō — surname Guo (HSK 1)
血腥: xuè xīng — 1. reeking of blood 2. bloody (events)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
歌聲: gē shēng — 1. singing voice 2. fig. original voice of a poet (HSK 3)
血: xiě — see 血 (xuè) (HSK 3)
和: Hé — surname He (HSK 1)
鐵: Tiě — surname Tie (HSK 3)
火: Huǒ — surname Huo (HSK 3)
燄: yàn — variant of 焰 (yàn)
和: Hé — surname He (HSK 1)
毒: dú — 1. poison 2. to poison 3. poisonous 4. malicious 5. cruel 6. fierce 7. narcotics (HSK 5)
恢復: huī fù — 1. to reinstate 2. to resume 3. to restore 4. to recover 5. to regain 6. to rehabilitate (HSK 5)
和: Hé — surname He (HSK 1)
報: bào — 1. to report; to inform; to announce 2. to respond; to reply 3. to sign up for; to register for (abbr. for 報名 (bào míng)) 4. to reward; to recompense 5. to take revenge; to retaliate 6. newspaper 7. periodical; journal 8. bulletin 9. telegram (HSK 3)
讎: chóu — variant of 仇 (chóu) (HSK 7-9)
而: ér — 1. and 2. as well as 3. and so 4. but (not) 5. yet (not) 6. (indicates causal relation) 7. (indicates change of state) 8. (indicates contrast) (HSK 4)
忽而: hū ér — 1. suddenly 2. now (..., now...)
這些: zhè xiē — these (HSK 1)
都: Dū — surname Du (HSK 1)
空虛: kōng xū — 1. hollow 2. emptiness 3. meaningless (HSK 7-9)
了: le — 1. (completed action marker) 2. (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now) 3. (modal particle intensifying preceding clause) (HSK 1)
但: dàn — 1. but; yet; however; still 2. merely; only; just (HSK 2)
有時: yǒu shí — 1. sometimes 2. now and then (HSK 1)
故意: gù yì — deliberately; on purpose (HSK 2)
地: de — 1. -ly 2. structural particle: used before a verb or adjective, linking it to preceding modifying adverbial adjunct (HSK 1)
塡: tián — variant of 填 (tián)
以: Yǐ — abbr. for Israel 以色列 (Yǐ sè liè) (HSK 7-9)
沒奈何: mò nài hé — to have no alternative; to be helpless
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
自欺: zì qī — to deceive oneself
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
希望: xī wàng — 1. to hope 2. a hope; a wish (HSK 3)
希望: xī wàng — 1. to hope 2. a hope; a wish (HSK 3)
希望: xī wàng — 1. to hope 2. a hope; a wish (HSK 3)
用: yòng — 1. to use; to make use of; to employ 2. (coverb) with; using 3. to need; to have to (usu. used in the negative or in questions) 4. usefulness; utility 5. (bound form) expense; outlay 6. (courteous) to eat; to drink 7. (literary) hence; therefore (HSK 1)
這: zhè — 1. (pronoun) this; these 2. (bound form) this; the (followed by a noun) 3. (bound form) this; these (followed by a classifier) (in this sense, commonly pr. (zhèi), esp. in Beijing) (HSK 1)
希望: xī wàng — 1. to hope 2. a hope; a wish (HSK 3)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
盾: dùn — 1. shield (classifier: 面 (miàn)) 2. (currency) Vietnamese dong 3. currency unit of several countries (Indonesian rupiah, Dutch gulden etc)
抗拒: kàng jù — 1. to resist 2. to defy 3. to oppose (HSK 7-9)
那: Nā — surname Na (HSK 1)
空虛: kōng xū — 1. hollow 2. emptiness 3. meaningless (HSK 7-9)
中的: zhòng dì — 1. to hit the target 2. (fig.) to hit the nail on the head
暗: àn — 1. dark 2. to turn dark 3. secret; hidden 4. (literary) confused; ignorant (HSK 4)
夜: yè — night (HSK 2)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
襲: xí — 1. (bound form) to raid; to attack 2. (bound form) to continue the pattern; to perpetuate 3. (literary) classifier for suits of clothing or sets of bedding
來: lái — 1. to come 2. (used as a substitute for a more specific verb) 3. hither (directional complement for motion toward the speaker, as in 回來 (huí lai)) 4. ever since (as in 自古以來 (zì gǔ yǐ lái)) 5. for the past (amount of time) 6. (prefix) the coming ...; the next ... (as in 來世 (lái shì)) 7. (between two verbs) in order to 8. (after a round number) approximately 9. (used after 得 (dé) to indicate possibility, as in 談得來 (tán de lái), or after 不 (bù) to indicate impossibility, as in 吃不來 (chī bu lái)) (HSK 1)
雖然: suī rán — although; even though (often used correlatively with 可是 (kě shì) or 但是 (dàn shì) etc) (HSK 2)
盾: dùn — 1. shield (classifier: 面 (miàn)) 2. (currency) Vietnamese dong 3. currency unit of several countries (Indonesian rupiah, Dutch gulden etc)
後面: hòu mian — 1. the back; the rear; the last bit 2. behind; near the end; at the back 3. later; afterwards (HSK 3)
也: Yě — surname Ye (HSK 1)
依然: yī rán — still; as before (HSK 4)
是: shì — 1. to be (followed by substantives only) 2. correct; right; true 3. (respectful acknowledgement of a command) very well 4. (adverb for emphatic assertion) (HSK 1)
空虛: kōng xū — 1. hollow 2. emptiness 3. meaningless (HSK 7-9)
中的: zhòng dì — 1. to hit the target 2. (fig.) to hit the nail on the head
暗: àn — 1. dark 2. to turn dark 3. secret; hidden 4. (literary) confused; ignorant (HSK 4)
夜: yè — night (HSK 2)
然而: rán ér — however; but; yet (HSK 4)
就是: jiù shì — 1. exactly; precisely 2. only; simply; just 3. (used correlatively with 也 (yě)) even; even if (HSK 3)
如此: rú cǐ — like this; so; such (HSK 5)
陸續: lù xù — 1. in turn 2. successively 3. one after the other 4. bit by bit (HSK 4)
地: de — 1. -ly 2. structural particle: used before a verb or adjective, linking it to preceding modifying adverbial adjunct (HSK 1)
耗盡: hào jìn — 1. to exhaust 2. to use up 3. to deplete 4. to drain
了: le — 1. (completed action marker) 2. (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now) 3. (modal particle intensifying preceding clause) (HSK 1)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
靑: qīng — variant of 青 (qīng)
春: Chūn — surname Chun

？Had I not known long ago that my youth had already passed?：，，，，，，，……。But I believed that the youth outside myself still remained: stars, moonlight, the stiffened, falling butterfly, flowers in the dark, the ill-omened words of the owl, the cuckoo weeping blood, the faintness of laughter, the soaring dance of love……，。Though it be a youth desolate and insubstantial, it is, after all, youth.

我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
早先: zǎo xiān — 1. previously 2. before
豈不: qǐ bù — 1. how couldn't...? 2. wouldn't it...?
知: zhī — 1. to know 2. to be aware
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
靑: qīng — variant of 青 (qīng)
春: Chūn — surname Chun
已經: yǐ jīng — already (HSK 2)
逝去: shì qù — 1. to elapse 2. to pass away 3. to die 4. demise
了: le — 1. (completed action marker) 2. (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now) 3. (modal particle intensifying preceding clause) (HSK 1)
但: dàn — 1. but; yet; however; still 2. merely; only; just (HSK 2)
以: Yǐ — abbr. for Israel 以色列 (Yǐ sè liè) (HSK 7-9)
爲: wéi — variant of 為 (wéi) (HSK 2)
身: shēn — 1. body 2. life 3. oneself 4. personally 5. one's morality and conduct 6. the main part of a structure or body 7. pregnant 8. classifier for sets of clothes: suit, twinset 9. Kangxi radical 158
外: wài — 1. outside 2. in addition 3. foreign 4. external (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
靑: qīng — variant of 青 (qīng)
春: Chūn — surname Chun
固: gù — 1. hard 2. strong 3. solid 4. sure 5. assuredly 6. undoubtedly 7. of course 8. indeed 9. admittedly
在: zài — 1. to exist; to be alive 2. (of sb or sth) to be (located) at 3. (used before a verb to indicate an action in progress) (HSK 1)
星: xīng — 1. star 2. heavenly body 3. satellite 4. small amount
月光: yuè guāng — moonlight
僵: jiāng — 1. rigid 2. deadlock 3. stiff (corpse) (HSK 7-9)
墜: zhuì — 1. to fall 2. to drop 3. to weigh down (HSK 7-9)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
胡蝶: hú dié — variant of 蝴蝶 (hú dié)
暗中: àn zhōng — 1. in the dark 2. in secret 3. on the sly 4. surreptitiously (HSK 7-9)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
花: Huā — surname Hua (HSK 1)
貓頭鷹: māo tóu yīng — owl
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
不祥: bù xiáng — 1. ominous 2. inauspicious
之: zhī — 1. (possessive particle, literary equivalent of 的 (de)) 2. him 3. her 4. it (HSK 7-9)
言: yán — 1. words 2. speech 3. to say 4. to talk
杜鵑: dù juān — 1. cuckoo (Cercococcyx spp., also written 杜鵑鳥 2. Indian azalea (Rhododendron simsii Planch, also written 杜鵑花
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
啼: tí — 1. (bound form) to cry; to weep loudly 2. (bound form) (of a bird or animal) to crow; to hoot; to screech
血: xiě — see 血 (xuè) (HSK 3)
笑: xiào — 1. to laugh; to smile 2. to laugh at (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
渺茫: miǎo máng — 1. uncertain 2. remote 3. distant and indistinct 4. vague
愛: ài — 1. to love; to be fond of; to like 2. affection 3. to be inclined (to do sth); to tend to (happen) (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
翔: xiáng — 1. to soar 2. to glide 3. variant of 詳 (xiáng) 4. (slang) shit
舞: wǔ — 1. to dance 2. to wield 3. to brandish (HSK 5)
雖然: suī rán — although; even though (often used correlatively with 可是 (kě shì) or 但是 (dàn shì) etc) (HSK 2)
是: shì — 1. to be (followed by substantives only) 2. correct; right; true 3. (respectful acknowledgement of a command) very well 4. (adverb for emphatic assertion) (HSK 1)
悲涼: bēi liáng — 1. sorrowful 2. dismal
漂: piāo — 1. to float 2. to drift (HSK 7-9)
渺: miǎo — 1. (of an expanse of water) vast 2. distant and indistinct 3. tiny or insignificant
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
靑: qīng — variant of 青 (qīng)
春: Chūn — surname Chun
罷: bà — 1. to stop 2. to cease 3. to dismiss 4. to suspend 5. to quit 6. to finish
然而: rán ér — however; but; yet (HSK 4)
究竟: jiū jìng — 1. to go to the bottom of a matter 2. after all 3. when all is said and done 4. (in an interrogative sentence) finally 5. outcome 6. result (HSK 4)
是: shì — 1. to be (followed by substantives only) 2. correct; right; true 3. (respectful acknowledgement of a command) very well 4. (adverb for emphatic assertion) (HSK 1)
靑: qīng — variant of 青 (qīng)
春: Chūn — surname Chun

？Yet why is it now so lonely?，？Could it be that even the youth outside myself has now passed away, that the young people of the world too have mostly grown old?

。I have no choice but to close with, in my own person, this dark night within the emptiness.，Petofi Sándor(1823-49)『』：I set down the shield of hope, and heard Petőfi Sándor's (1823–49) song of 'Hope':

我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
只得: zhǐ dé — to have no alternative but to; to be obliged to (HSK 6)
由: yóu — 1. to follow 2. from 3. because of; due to 4. by; via; through 5. (before a noun and a verb) it is for ... to ... (HSK 3)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
來: lái — 1. to come 2. (used as a substitute for a more specific verb) 3. hither (directional complement for motion toward the speaker, as in 回來 (huí lai)) 4. ever since (as in 自古以來 (zì gǔ yǐ lái)) 5. for the past (amount of time) 6. (prefix) the coming ...; the next ... (as in 來世 (lái shì)) 7. (between two verbs) in order to 8. (after a round number) approximately 9. (used after 得 (dé) to indicate possibility, as in 談得來 (tán de lái), or after 不 (bù) to indicate impossibility, as in 吃不來 (chī bu lái)) (HSK 1)
肉: ròu — 1. meat 2. flesh 3. pulp (of a fruit) 4. (coll.) (of a fruit) squashy 5. (of a person) flabby 6. irresolute 7. Kangxi radical 130 (HSK 1)
薄: Bó — surname Bo (HSK 4)
這: zhè — 1. (pronoun) this; these 2. (bound form) this; the (followed by a noun) 3. (bound form) this; these (followed by a classifier) (in this sense, commonly pr. (zhèi), esp. in Beijing) (HSK 1)
空虛: kōng xū — 1. hollow 2. emptiness 3. meaningless (HSK 7-9)
中的: zhòng dì — 1. to hit the target 2. (fig.) to hit the nail on the head
暗: àn — 1. dark 2. to turn dark 3. secret; hidden 4. (literary) confused; ignorant (HSK 4)
夜: yè — night (HSK 2)
了: le — 1. (completed action marker) 2. (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now) 3. (modal particle intensifying preceding clause) (HSK 1)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
放下: fàng xià — 1. to lay down; to put down 2. to let go of; to relinquish; to set aside 3. to lower (the blinds etc) (HSK 2)
了: le — 1. (completed action marker) 2. (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now) 3. (modal particle intensifying preceding clause) (HSK 1)
希望: xī wàng — 1. to hope 2. a hope; a wish (HSK 3)
之: zhī — 1. (possessive particle, literary equivalent of 的 (de)) 2. him 3. her 4. it (HSK 7-9)
盾: dùn — 1. shield (classifier: 面 (miàn)) 2. (currency) Vietnamese dong 3. currency unit of several countries (Indonesian rupiah, Dutch gulden etc)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
聽到: tīng dào — to hear (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
希望: xī wàng — 1. to hope 2. a hope; a wish (HSK 3)
之: zhī — 1. (possessive particle, literary equivalent of 的 (de)) 2. him 3. her 4. it (HSK 7-9)
歌: gē — 1. song (classifier: 首 (shǒu), 支 (zhī)) 2. (bound form) to sing (HSK 1)

？What is hope?：A harlot:

，；She bewitches everyone, and gives all to everyone;

——then, once you have sacrificed your most precious treasure —

——。your youth — she abandons you.

，，，。This great lyric poet, patriot of Hungary, died for his motherland on the spearpoint of a Cossack soldier — seventy-five years have now passed.，。Sad indeed is death; yet sadder still is that his poetry, to this day, has not died.

這: zhè — 1. (pronoun) this; these 2. (bound form) this; the (followed by a noun) 3. (bound form) this; these (followed by a classifier) (in this sense, commonly pr. (zhèi), esp. in Beijing) (HSK 1)
偉大: wěi dà — huge; great; grand; worthy of the greatest admiration; important (contribution etc) (HSK 3)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
抒情詩: shū qíng shī — lyric poetry
人: rén — 1. person; people 2. classifier: 個 (gè), 位 (wèi), 名 (míng) (HSK 1)
匈牙利: Xiōng yá lì — Hungary
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
愛國者: Ài guó zhě — MIM-104 Patriot surface-to-air missile
爲: wéi — variant of 為 (wéi) (HSK 2)
了: le — 1. (completed action marker) 2. (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now) 3. (modal particle intensifying preceding clause) (HSK 1)
祖國: zǔ guó — motherland (HSK 6)
而: ér — 1. and 2. as well as 3. and so 4. but (not) 5. yet (not) 6. (indicates causal relation) 7. (indicates change of state) 8. (indicates contrast) (HSK 4)
死: sǐ — 1. to die 2. impassable 3. uncrossable 4. inflexible 5. rigid 6. extremely 7. damned (HSK 3)
在: zài — 1. to exist; to be alive 2. (of sb or sth) to be (located) at 3. (used before a verb to indicate an action in progress) (HSK 1)
可: kě — 1. (prefix) can; may; able to; -able 2. to approve; to permit 3. to suit 4. (particle used for emphasis) certainly; very 5. but; however (HSK 5)
薩: Sà — surname Sa
克: Kè — 1. abbr. for 克羅地亞 (Kè luó dì yà), Croatia 2. (Tw) abbr. for 克羅埃西亞 (Kè luó āi xī yà), Croatia (HSK 2)
兵: bīng — 1. soldiers 2. a force 3. an army 4. weapons 5. arms 6. military 7. warlike 8. classifier: 個 (gè) (HSK 4)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
矛: máo — 1. spear; lance; pike 2. classifier: 支 (zhī)
尖: jiān — 1. pointed; tapering; sharp 2. (of a sound) shrill; piercing 3. (of one's hearing, sight etc) sharp; acute; keen 4. to make (one's voice) shrill 5. sharp point; tip 6. the best of sth; the cream of the crop (HSK 6)
上: shǎng — used in 上聲 (shǎng shēng) (HSK 1)
已經: yǐ jīng — already (HSK 2)
七十: qī shí — 1. seventy 2. 70
五: wǔ — 1. five 2. 5 (HSK 1)
年: Nián — surname Nian (HSK 1)
了: le — 1. (completed action marker) 2. (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now) 3. (modal particle intensifying preceding clause) (HSK 1)
悲: bēi — 1. sad 2. sadness 3. sorrow 4. grief
哉: zāi — (exclamatory or interrogative particle)
死: sǐ — 1. to die 2. impassable 3. uncrossable 4. inflexible 5. rigid 6. extremely 7. damned (HSK 3)
也: Yě — surname Ye (HSK 1)
然而: rán ér — however; but; yet (HSK 4)
更: gēng — 1. to change or replace 2. to experience 3. one of the five two-hour periods into which the night was formerly divided 4. watch (e.g. of a sentry or guard) (HSK 2)
可悲: kě bēi — lamentable (HSK 7-9)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
是: shì — 1. to be (followed by substantives only) 2. correct; right; true 3. (respectful acknowledgement of a command) very well 4. (adverb for emphatic assertion) (HSK 1)
他: tā — 1. (third-person singular) (since the early 20th century, usu. male) he; him; his 2. (bound form) other; another; some other (as in 他日 (tā rì) and 他人 (tā rén)) (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
詩: Shī — abbr. for Shijing 詩經 (Shī jīng), the Book of Songs (HSK 4)
至今: zhì jīn — 1. so far 2. to this day 3. until now (HSK 3)
沒有: méi yǒu — 1. haven't 2. hasn't 3. doesn't exist 4. to not have 5. to not be (HSK 1)
死: sǐ — 1. to die 2. impassable 3. uncrossable 4. inflexible 5. rigid 6. extremely 7. damned (HSK 3)

，！But ah, wretched human life!Petöfi，，。Even one as fierce and valiant as Petőfi, in the end, halted before the dark night, and turned to look back at the boundless East.：He said:

但是: dàn shì — but; however (HSK 2)
可: kě — 1. (prefix) can; may; able to; -able 2. to approve; to permit 3. to suit 4. (particle used for emphasis) certainly; very 5. but; however (HSK 5)
慘: cǎn — 1. miserable 2. wretched 3. cruel 4. inhuman 5. disastrous 6. tragic 7. dim 8. gloomy (HSK 6)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
人生: rén shēng — life (one's time on earth) (HSK 3)
桀: jié — 1. (emperor of Xia dynasty) 2. cruel
驁: ào — 1. a noble steed (literary) 2. (of a horse) untamed 3. (fig.) (of a person) headstrong 4. Taiwan pr. (áo)
英勇: yīng yǒng — 1. heroic 2. gallant 3. valiant (HSK 4)
如: rú — 1. as 2. as if 3. such as (HSK 6)
也: Yě — surname Ye (HSK 1)
終: zhōng — 1. end 2. finish
于: Yú — surname Yu (HSK 6)
對了: duì le — 1. Correct! 2. Oh, that's right, ... (when one suddenly remembers sth one wanted to mention) 3. Oh, by the way, ...
暗: àn — 1. dark 2. to turn dark 3. secret; hidden 4. (literary) confused; ignorant (HSK 4)
夜: yè — night (HSK 2)
止步: zhǐ bù — 1. to halt 2. to stop 3. to go no farther (HSK 7-9)
回顧: huí gù — 1. to look back 2. to review (HSK 5)
着: zhāo — variant of 著 (zhāo) (HSK 1)
茫茫: máng máng — 1. boundless 2. vast and obscure
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
東方: Dōng fāng — 1. the East; the Orient 2. two-character surname Dongfang (HSK 2)
了: le — 1. (completed action marker) 2. (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now) 3. (modal particle intensifying preceding clause) (HSK 1)
他: tā — 1. (third-person singular) (since the early 20th century, usu. male) he; him; his 2. (bound form) other; another; some other (as in 他日 (tā rì) and 他人 (tā rén)) (HSK 1)
說: shuì — to persuade (HSK 1)

，。Despair, as falsehood, is precisely the same as hope.

『』，，。If I must go on stealing my life in this 'falsehood' that is neither light nor dark, then I will still seek that departed youth, desolate and insubstantial — but let it be outside myself.，。For if the youth outside myself should once vanish, then the twilight years within myself would wither away too.

倘: cháng — used in 倘佯 (cháng yáng)
使: shǐ — 1. to make 2. to cause 3. to enable 4. to use 5. to employ 6. to send 7. to instruct sb to do sth 8. envoy 9. messenger (HSK 3)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
還: Huán — surname Huan (HSK 1)
得: dé — 1. to obtain 2. to get 3. to gain 4. to catch (a disease) 5. proper 6. suitable 7. proud 8. contented 9. to allow 10. to permit 11. ready 12. finished (HSK 2)
偸: tōu — variant of 偷 (tōu)
生: shēng — 1. to grow; to give birth; to produce; to be born 2. to arise; to occur 3. to light (a fire) 4. to live; to be alive 5. life 6. raw; uncooked; unprocessed 7. unfamiliar; strange 8. (bound form) student; person engaged in a field 9. (bound form) male role in traditional opera 10. (bound form) life; lifetime 11. (bound form) means of livelihood 12. (bound form) very; intensely (as in 生疼 (shēng téng)) 13. (bound form) in a forced manner (as in 生拉硬拽 (shēng lā yìng zhuài)) (HSK 2)
在: zài — 1. to exist; to be alive 2. (of sb or sth) to be (located) at 3. (used before a verb to indicate an action in progress) (HSK 1)
不明: bù míng — 1. not clear 2. unknown 3. to fail to understand
不: bù — 1. no; not so 2. (bound form) not; un- (HSK 1)
暗: àn — 1. dark 2. to turn dark 3. secret; hidden 4. (literary) confused; ignorant (HSK 4)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
這: zhè — 1. (pronoun) this; these 2. (bound form) this; the (followed by a noun) 3. (bound form) this; these (followed by a classifier) (in this sense, commonly pr. (zhèi), esp. in Beijing) (HSK 1)
虛妄: xū wàng — fabricated
中: Zhōng — 1. (bound form) China; Chinese 2. surname Zhong (HSK 1)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
就: jiù — 1. (after a suppositional clause) in that case; then 2. (after a clause of action) as soon as; immediately after 3. (same as 就是 (jiù shì)) merely; nothing else but; simply; just; precisely; exactly 4. only; as little as 5. as much as; as many as 6. to approach; to move towards 7. to undertake; to engage in 8. (often followed by 著 (zhe)) taking advantage of 9. (of food) to go with 10. with regard to; concerning 11. (bound form) to reach; to attain (as in 一蹴而就 (yī cù ér jiù)) 12. (pattern: 就 (jiù) ... 也 (yě) ...) even if ... still ... 13. (pattern: 不 (bù) ... 就 (jiù) ...) if not ... then must be ... (HSK 1)
還: Huán — surname Huan (HSK 1)
要: yāo — (bound form) to demand; to coerce (HSK 1)
尋求: xún qiú — to seek; to look for (HSK 5)
那: Nā — surname Na (HSK 1)
逝去: shì qù — 1. to elapse 2. to pass away 3. to die 4. demise
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
悲涼: bēi liáng — 1. sorrowful 2. dismal
漂: piāo — 1. to float 2. to drift (HSK 7-9)
渺: miǎo — 1. (of an expanse of water) vast 2. distant and indistinct 3. tiny or insignificant
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
靑: qīng — variant of 青 (qīng)
春: Chūn — surname Chun
但: dàn — 1. but; yet; however; still 2. merely; only; just (HSK 2)
不妨: bù fáng — there is no harm in; might as well (HSK 7-9)
在: zài — 1. to exist; to be alive 2. (of sb or sth) to be (located) at 3. (used before a verb to indicate an action in progress) (HSK 1)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
身: shēn — 1. body 2. life 3. oneself 4. personally 5. one's morality and conduct 6. the main part of a structure or body 7. pregnant 8. classifier for sets of clothes: suit, twinset 9. Kangxi radical 158
外: wài — 1. outside 2. in addition 3. foreign 4. external (HSK 1)
因: yīn — 1. cause 2. reason 3. because (HSK 6)
爲: wéi — variant of 為 (wéi) (HSK 2)
身: shēn — 1. body 2. life 3. oneself 4. personally 5. one's morality and conduct 6. the main part of a structure or body 7. pregnant 8. classifier for sets of clothes: suit, twinset 9. Kangxi radical 158
外: wài — 1. outside 2. in addition 3. foreign 4. external (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
靑: qīng — variant of 青 (qīng)
春: Chūn — surname Chun
倘: cháng — used in 倘佯 (cháng yáng)
一: yī — 1. one 2. single 3. a (article) 4. as soon as 5. entire; whole; all; throughout 6. "one" radical in Chinese characters (Kangxi radical 1) 7. also pr. (yāo) for greater clarity when spelling out numbers digit by digit (HSK 1)
消滅: xiāo miè — 1. to put an end to 2. to annihilate 3. to cause to perish 4. to perish 5. annihilation (in quantum field theory) (HSK 6)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
身: shēn — 1. body 2. life 3. oneself 4. personally 5. one's morality and conduct 6. the main part of a structure or body 7. pregnant 8. classifier for sets of clothes: suit, twinset 9. Kangxi radical 158
中的: zhòng dì — 1. to hit the target 2. (fig.) to hit the nail on the head
遲暮: chí mù — 1. (literary) dusk; twilight 2. (fig.) the twilight of one's life; one's declining years
也: Yě — surname Ye (HSK 1)
卽: jí — 1. variant of 即 (jí) 2. promptly
凋零: diāo líng — 1. withered 2. wilted 3. to wither 4. to fade 5. to decay
了: le — 1. (completed action marker) 2. (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now) 3. (modal particle intensifying preceding clause) (HSK 1)

，，。Yet now there are no stars and no moonlight, no stiffened, falling butterfly, nor even the faintness of laughter, the soaring dance of love.。And yet the young people are quite at peace.

然而: rán ér — however; but; yet (HSK 4)
現在: xiàn zài — now; at present; currently (HSK 1)
沒有: méi yǒu — 1. haven't 2. hasn't 3. doesn't exist 4. to not have 5. to not be (HSK 1)
星: xīng — 1. star 2. heavenly body 3. satellite 4. small amount
和: Hé — surname He (HSK 1)
月光: yuè guāng — moonlight
沒有: méi yǒu — 1. haven't 2. hasn't 3. doesn't exist 4. to not have 5. to not be (HSK 1)
僵: jiāng — 1. rigid 2. deadlock 3. stiff (corpse) (HSK 7-9)
墜: zhuì — 1. to fall 2. to drop 3. to weigh down (HSK 7-9)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
胡蝶: hú dié — variant of 蝴蝶 (hú dié)
以至: yǐ zhì — 1. down to 2. up to 3. to such an extent as to ... 4. also written 以至於 (yǐ zhì yú)
笑: xiào — 1. to laugh; to smile 2. to laugh at (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
渺茫: miǎo máng — 1. uncertain 2. remote 3. distant and indistinct 4. vague
愛: ài — 1. to love; to be fond of; to like 2. affection 3. to be inclined (to do sth); to tend to (happen) (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
翔: xiáng — 1. to soar 2. to glide 3. variant of 詳 (xiáng) 4. (slang) shit
舞: wǔ — 1. to dance 2. to wield 3. to brandish (HSK 5)
然而: rán ér — however; but; yet (HSK 4)
靑: qīng — variant of 青 (qīng)
年: Nián — surname Nian (HSK 1)
們: men — plural marker for pronouns, and nouns referring to individuals
很: hěn — 1. very; quite 2. (also, often used before an adjective without intensifying its meaning, i.e. as a meaningless syntactic element) (HSK 1)
平安: Píng ān — see 平安區 (Píng ān Qū) (HSK 2)

，，。I have no choice but to close with, in my own person, this dark night within the emptiness; even if I cannot find the youth outside myself, I must at least, by my own hand, cast away the twilight years within me.？But where, then, is the dark night?，；Now there are no stars, no moonlight, nor even the faintness of laughter and the soaring dance of love;，。the young people are quite at peace, and before me there is, moreover, not even a true dark night.

我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
只得: zhǐ dé — to have no alternative but to; to be obliged to (HSK 6)
由: yóu — 1. to follow 2. from 3. because of; due to 4. by; via; through 5. (before a noun and a verb) it is for ... to ... (HSK 3)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
來: lái — 1. to come 2. (used as a substitute for a more specific verb) 3. hither (directional complement for motion toward the speaker, as in 回來 (huí lai)) 4. ever since (as in 自古以來 (zì gǔ yǐ lái)) 5. for the past (amount of time) 6. (prefix) the coming ...; the next ... (as in 來世 (lái shì)) 7. (between two verbs) in order to 8. (after a round number) approximately 9. (used after 得 (dé) to indicate possibility, as in 談得來 (tán de lái), or after 不 (bù) to indicate impossibility, as in 吃不來 (chī bu lái)) (HSK 1)
肉: ròu — 1. meat 2. flesh 3. pulp (of a fruit) 4. (coll.) (of a fruit) squashy 5. (of a person) flabby 6. irresolute 7. Kangxi radical 130 (HSK 1)
薄: Bó — surname Bo (HSK 4)
這: zhè — 1. (pronoun) this; these 2. (bound form) this; the (followed by a noun) 3. (bound form) this; these (followed by a classifier) (in this sense, commonly pr. (zhèi), esp. in Beijing) (HSK 1)
空虛: kōng xū — 1. hollow 2. emptiness 3. meaningless (HSK 7-9)
中的: zhòng dì — 1. to hit the target 2. (fig.) to hit the nail on the head
暗: àn — 1. dark 2. to turn dark 3. secret; hidden 4. (literary) confused; ignorant (HSK 4)
夜: yè — night (HSK 2)
了: le — 1. (completed action marker) 2. (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now) 3. (modal particle intensifying preceding clause) (HSK 1)
縱使: zòng shǐ — 1. even if 2. even though
尋: xún — 1. to search 2. to look for 3. to seek (HSK 7-9)
不到: bù dào — 1. not to arrive 2. not reaching 3. insufficient 4. less than
身: shēn — 1. body 2. life 3. oneself 4. personally 5. one's morality and conduct 6. the main part of a structure or body 7. pregnant 8. classifier for sets of clothes: suit, twinset 9. Kangxi radical 158
外: wài — 1. outside 2. in addition 3. foreign 4. external (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
靑: qīng — variant of 青 (qīng)
春: Chūn — surname Chun
也: Yě — surname Ye (HSK 1)
總得: zǒng děi — 1. must 2. have to 3. be bound to
自己: zì jǐ — oneself; (attributive) one's own (HSK 2)
來: lái — 1. to come 2. (used as a substitute for a more specific verb) 3. hither (directional complement for motion toward the speaker, as in 回來 (huí lai)) 4. ever since (as in 自古以來 (zì gǔ yǐ lái)) 5. for the past (amount of time) 6. (prefix) the coming ...; the next ... (as in 來世 (lái shì)) 7. (between two verbs) in order to 8. (after a round number) approximately 9. (used after 得 (dé) to indicate possibility, as in 談得來 (tán de lái), or after 不 (bù) to indicate impossibility, as in 吃不來 (chī bu lái)) (HSK 1)
一: yī — 1. one 2. single 3. a (article) 4. as soon as 5. entire; whole; all; throughout 6. "one" radical in Chinese characters (Kangxi radical 1) 7. also pr. (yāo) for greater clarity when spelling out numbers digit by digit (HSK 1)
擲: zhì — 1. to toss 2. to throw dice 3. Taiwan pr. (zhí)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
身: shēn — 1. body 2. life 3. oneself 4. personally 5. one's morality and conduct 6. the main part of a structure or body 7. pregnant 8. classifier for sets of clothes: suit, twinset 9. Kangxi radical 158
中的: zhòng dì — 1. to hit the target 2. (fig.) to hit the nail on the head
遲暮: chí mù — 1. (literary) dusk; twilight 2. (fig.) the twilight of one's life; one's declining years
但: dàn — 1. but; yet; however; still 2. merely; only; just (HSK 2)
暗: àn — 1. dark 2. to turn dark 3. secret; hidden 4. (literary) confused; ignorant (HSK 4)
夜: yè — night (HSK 2)
又: yòu — 1. (once) again 2. also 3. both... and... 4. and yet 5. (used for emphasis) anyway (HSK 2)
在: zài — 1. to exist; to be alive 2. (of sb or sth) to be (located) at 3. (used before a verb to indicate an action in progress) (HSK 1)
那裏: nà li — there; that place (HSK 1)
呢: ne — 1. (sentence-final particle) used in questions to link back to prior discourse or context ("what about...?", "and...?") 2. (sentence-final particle) indicating that a state or situation still holds 3. (discourse particle) used to mark a slight pause or emphasis in speech (HSK 1)
現在: xiàn zài — now; at present; currently (HSK 1)
沒有: méi yǒu — 1. haven't 2. hasn't 3. doesn't exist 4. to not have 5. to not be (HSK 1)
星: xīng — 1. star 2. heavenly body 3. satellite 4. small amount
沒有: méi yǒu — 1. haven't 2. hasn't 3. doesn't exist 4. to not have 5. to not be (HSK 1)
月光: yuè guāng — moonlight
以至: yǐ zhì — 1. down to 2. up to 3. to such an extent as to ... 4. also written 以至於 (yǐ zhì yú)
笑: xiào — 1. to laugh; to smile 2. to laugh at (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
渺茫: miǎo máng — 1. uncertain 2. remote 3. distant and indistinct 4. vague
和: Hé — surname He (HSK 1)
愛: ài — 1. to love; to be fond of; to like 2. affection 3. to be inclined (to do sth); to tend to (happen) (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
翔: xiáng — 1. to soar 2. to glide 3. variant of 詳 (xiáng) 4. (slang) shit
舞: wǔ — 1. to dance 2. to wield 3. to brandish (HSK 5)
靑: qīng — variant of 青 (qīng)
年: Nián — surname Nian (HSK 1)
們: men — plural marker for pronouns, and nouns referring to individuals
很: hěn — 1. very; quite 2. (also, often used before an adjective without intensifying its meaning, i.e. as a meaningless syntactic element) (HSK 1)
平安: Píng ān — see 平安區 (Píng ān Qū) (HSK 2)
而: ér — 1. and 2. as well as 3. and so 4. but (not) 5. yet (not) 6. (indicates causal relation) 7. (indicates change of state) 8. (indicates contrast) (HSK 4)
我: wǒ — I; me; my (HSK 1)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
面前: miàn qián — 1. in front of 2. facing 3. (in the) presence (of) (HSK 2)
又: yòu — 1. (once) again 2. also 3. both... and... 4. and yet 5. (used for emphasis) anyway (HSK 2)
竟: jìng — 1. unexpectedly 2. actually 3. to go so far as to 4. indeed (HSK 7-9)
至于: zhì yú — 1. as for 2. as to 3. to go so far as to (HSK 6)
並且: bìng qiě — and; besides; moreover; furthermore; in addition (HSK 3)
沒有: méi yǒu — 1. haven't 2. hasn't 3. doesn't exist 4. to not have 5. to not be (HSK 1)
眞: zhēn — variant of 真 (zhēn)
的: de — 1. of; ~'s (possessive particle) 2. (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun) 3. (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis) 4. (used after a noun, verb or adjective to form a nominal expression, as in 皮革的 (pí gé de) "one made of leather" or 跑堂兒的 (pǎo táng r de) "a waiter (literally, one who runs back and forth in a restaurant)" or 新的 (xīn de) "new one") 5. also pr. (dì) or (di) in poetry and songs (HSK 1)
暗: àn — 1. dark 2. to turn dark 3. secret; hidden 4. (literary) confused; ignorant (HSK 4)
夜: yè — night (HSK 2)

，！Despair, as falsehood, is precisely the same as hope!

（。）(January 1, 1925.)

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What it’s about

A man takes stock of his own emptiness and finds that even that has been taken from him. His heart is unusually lonely and at the same time perfectly calm — no love or hate, no joy or sorrow, no colour and no sound. He must be old: his hair has gone white and his hands shake, so the hands of his soul must shake too. There was a time when his heart was full of bloody songs — blood and iron, flame and poison, restoration and revenge — and then all of it emptied out, and he filled the emptiness with a hope he knew was self-deception, holding it up as a shield against the night, though behind the shield stood the same night. That is where his youth went.

What is new is that the youth outside him seems to have gone as well. He had always assumed it was still there — stars, moonlight, stiffened falling butterflies, flowers in the dark, the owl's ill-omened cry, the cuckoo crying blood, the vagueness of laughter, love in flight — a sad and insubstantial youth, but youth. So he puts down the shield and goes at the night bare-handed, quoting Petőfi Sándor: hope is a whore, she seduces everyone and gives everything away, and when you have sacrificed your greatest treasure — your youth — she drops you. The poet died on a Cossack lance for his country seventy-five years ago; sadder still, Lu Xun says, that his poems are not dead yet. The line he ends on is also Petőfi's, and it is the one everybody quotes from this book: despair is as much a lie as hope. But where is the night? There are no stars and no moonlight, the young men are perfectly at peace, and in front of him there is not even a real darkness left to fight.

When it was written 背景

Dated 1 January 1925 — a New Year page. Lu Xun says in his preface to the English translation that he wrote it out of astonishment at how dispirited the young had become, which is the note the last paragraphs sound: it is the calm of the young that frightens him, not their anger. This is the piece to read if you read only one, and the place the 絕望之爲虛妄，正與希望相同 line comes from, but it is not easy. The Hungarian name and dates sit untranslated in the middle of the Chinese, the quoted stanza is verse, and the argument doubles back so often that the second half repeats the first almost word for word with the conclusion changed. 影的告别 and 過客 are its companions.

Words in this chapter 生词

靑qīng靑qīng — variant of 青 (qīng)
盾dùn盾dùn — shield (classifier: 面 (miàn)) · (currency) Vietnamese dong · currency unit of several countries (Indonesian rupiah, Dutch gulden etc)
虛妄xū wàng虛妄xū wàng — fabricated
逝去shì qù逝去shì qù — to elapse · to pass away · to die · demise
胡蝶hú dié胡蝶hú dié — variant of 蝴蝶 (hú dié)
遲暮chí mù遲暮chí mù — (literary) dusk; twilight · (fig.) the twilight of one's life; one's declining years
翔xiáng翔xiáng — to soar · to glide · variant of 詳 (xiáng) · (slang) shit
顫抖chàn dǒuHSK 7-9顫抖chàn dǒu — to shudder · to shiver · to shake · to tremble (HSK 7-9)
麽mó麽mó — tiny · insignificant
匈牙利Xiōng yá lì匈牙利Xiōng yá lì — Hungary
哀樂āi yuè哀樂āi yuè — funeral music · plaint · dirge
塡tián塡tián — variant of 填 (tián)